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College is a time for exploration and results cannot always be predicted, often leading to anxiety for both the student and the parent. Deciding to attend Framingham State College is itself an exploration, and even the happiest student may at times feel homesick or doubt himself or herself. This questioning and changing may at times seem to apply to every choice a student makes, from academic major to friends to how much contact they should have with their family. To the concerned parent, this can sound like a cry for help, a personal rejection or perhaps the start of a problematic time period or crisis for the student.
Understanding what is truly happening will involve patience and careful listening on your part. Most often, the true purpose of a phone call is to vent frustration and fears, so the student feels heard and understood. Once this is accomplished, students usually feel relieved and ready to move forward. However, for parents, a distressed phone call is often only the beginning of a long night of worry, only to find out at the next day’s check-in that from the student’s point of view, everything if fine.
Prolonged behavioral changes,
such as loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, withdrawal from social
activities, or avoidance of classes or other responsibilities might be
signals that your student is experiencing more than an adjustment
difficulty. Being prepared may help you distinguish between a problem and
a crisis. Your son or daughter had many strengths when they lived at home. Those qualities traveled with them to Framingham State College. As a parent you can help remind your student of all the challenges they have already successfully faced. Even if you have already sent a child to college, you may find that each child's college experience is different. He or she may adjust to college life at a different pace than a sibling. Your son or daughter will be faced with new challenges and new possibilities. He or she will use their existing strengths and build on them by facing these challenges. You can best support your son or daughter in their new ventures by offering encouragement, guidance, and listening carefully to their concerns.
As a parent, you can help your student by encouraging them to trust in their own abilities and suggest seeking help when additional help is needed. Students do not need to reach a point of crisis to seek and benefit from counseling. Whatever the frustrations, learning about your son or daughter as an adult may be one of the unexpected rewards of parenting during the college years.
If you have a concern about your son or daughter’s development,
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