Now that you’re back home, you are probably observing the minute details of your previous lifestyle and making cultural comparisons in much the same way that you did when you arrived at your study abroad site. The contrast of old and new may come as a shock. You probably changed a great deal while away, and it might be hard for family and friends to accept and understand some of these changes. Friends and family may not seem as interested in the details of your off-campus experience as you feel they should be. This may cause you to experience conflicts in readjusting to family members and old friends, and you might find yourself frustrated by the inability to describe adequately the depth and nature of your experience abroad.
As a returnee, you need to get involved again in activities at home and to plan a life built on the future rather than the past. This doesn't mean you should forget your abroad experience; on the contrary, you should use it as a reminder of how much you are capable of achieving. You coped amazingly with a variety of complex challenges and struggles as you made a place for yourself abroad. You accomplished things you never imagined yourself capable of doing! Keep all those challenges in mind: independent living, cooking for yourself, using public transportation, adjusting to a foreign culture, learning a new language, meeting new people, experiencing a place built on unfamiliar customs, money management, etc. Once you reflect on how much you’ve accomplished and decide what parts of your experience abroad you can use to your advantage in the future, you’ll be able to integrate the lessons of the recent past and be productive in the present.
Do you remember the culture shock you experienced after arrival abroad? Maybe your return feels similar because your expectations for life at home did not account for all of the cultural comparisons you made and all of the personal growth you have achieved.
Exposure to a different culture, different environment, new ideas and unfamiliar behaviors leads you to re-examine your own culture. For most people, study abroad is a unique opportunity to compare various forms of government, systems of education, values and lifestyles. This may result in more positive or negative attitudes, or both, and to an altered perception of your own country, hometown and even FSU. This is entirely natural!
You may resist adjusting to being back home because you feel that if you adjust, then you will have to stay here. Not true! Traveling is becoming more and more accessible and affordable. You will go back, even it it's not right away!
Some returnees equate readjusting with rejecting the personal growth they experienced while they were away. Instead, remember that your growth can be used to your advantage because it is proof of your courage and adapting skills.
Some believe that readjusting would mean that your experience off-campus never happened: that you would revert to the person you were before you went abroad. You’ll eventually find a healthy mix of old and new.
Then... you start to admit that certain things about home are rather nice, and if the truth be told, certain things about living abroad weren’t really all that pleasant. (Comparisons are natural.)
Some complaints or frustrations you might expect to feel include:
- The lifestyle abroad was so different from that at Framingham State University.
- I got used to a laid-back atmosphere and now must adjust to the fast pace of the US.
- I can’t travel anymore
- I can’t go anywhere special or exotic or experience anything completely new in Framingham
- Americans have so many material possessions
- Americans waste energy and don’t care about conserving valuable resources
- I miss my friends from abroad
- I miss the daily shopping for food experience
- No one from home seems to care; they don’t comprehend my experience
- My stories from abroad seem to bore people here
- I’ve changed and grown a lot
- My experience now seems surreal or as if it never happened
Any one of these reactions is normal and expected. It is important to realize you are not alone and there are some healthy steps you can take to relieve some of this anxiety and malcontent.
The word HOME has lots of definitions. For most people, home refers to an atmosphere, a set of routines, familiar faces and expectations. It’s a place where you are known and trusted and, conversely, where you know and trust others. Maybe your study-abroad site began to feel like “home” after you began to establish routines, developed reliable friendships, and became familiar with your surroundings. But now, even though your home is familiar and you recognize many features that have not changed, you still find yourself surprised, offended or even shocked by other features. You may begin to respond to your home much the way a stranger would.Further Suggestions
Have you noticed that your friends and family don’t seem to appreciate photos of people they have never met as much as you do?
People looking through your pictures may seem only interested in the breathtaking scenic views, the uncommon architecture and the monuments. Make a collage of those significant things plus all the pictures of your friends. That way, you can look at these places and people daily, and friends can ask about the one or two pictures that catch their eye from the collage. As for the rest of the pictures, they have a place in a scrap book full of written descriptions, tickets stubs, and information important to you.
Do you feel out of touch with people that you left behind?
Don’t wait for them to contact you. They’re probably waiting for you to send word of your safe arrival. Let them know you miss them. Tell them about all of the unexpected differences you are encountering. Check out online newspapers from the place you left. If you’re hoping to return to your off campus location someday, go to Career Services for advice or look into job offerings on the web. Don’t wait!!
Are you missing certain activities or places or a particular atmosphere?
Maybe you can find a place in Massachusetts that seems somewhat similar. It’s not that you’ll find something to replace your unique findings abroad, but if you’re looking for a cafe, a club, a disco, an ice cream flavor, a park, a forest, a mountain-- look around. Pretend that you are a foreigner in America... you practically are. Keep observing with the same open-mindedness that got you adjusted to your off-campus site. Try new things just like you did abroad.
Looking for people who you can talk to about the way you are feeling?
Try telling your tales to a professor interested in your host country or a subject you studied there. Choose courses that will allow you to expand on research you did abroad. Spend time with the international students at Framingham this year and try to see campus through their eyes. Volunteer at the Office of International Education and talk to students interested in studying abroad during drop-in times.
If your friends and family are not showing you their attention the way you would like, maybe you need to focus on how you are presenting your stories. They may not be able to comprehend what you went through or how it felt. Explain the transitions you went through in terms that they can understand or make comparisons to how it felt to leave everyone behind after high school and come to college. The more comparisons to your friends and families’ lives that you can make, the easier it will be for them to understand. Explain Explain Explain! The more details you can provide, the clearer the perception of your story will be. Describe a food or flavor or atmosphere saying: it was a cross between this (familiar thing) and that (familiar thing) or it reminded me a little of that one time when we.... or every time I did this, I thought of you because.... Pull your listeners in by involving them and making them ask you more questions. And remember that your friends have grown a lot too during the last year. Make sure you are interested in hearing their tales too.
Other Useful References
Austin, Clyde, ed. Cross-Cultural Reentry: A Book of Readings. Abilene, TX: Abilene Christian University, 1986.
Bennett, Janet. "Transition Shock: Putting Culture Shock in Perspective." International and Intercultural Communication Abroad IV. (December 1977): 92-93.
International Studies Handbook. Greencastle, IN: DePauw University Press, revised March 2000.
Kauffmann, Norman L, Judith N. Martin, Henry D. Weaver with Judy Weaver. Students Abroad: Strangers at Home. Education from a Global Society. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press, Inc., 1992.
Storti, Craig. The Art of Coming Home. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press, Inc., 1997.